I’d been married for years when I started this blog. That may be why I don’t post about dating much. But I ran across this blog post and it said a lot of things I agree with.
[It’s] perfectly cool if you don’t find fat people attractive. Anyone who tells you that you are obliged to find any particular set of features attractive is an insecure git who needs the weight of numbers before they can relax.
You may be attractive to a small number of people. That’s cool.
The question is, are those people attractive to you?
If so, then awesome! […]
If not, then you have that icktacular quandary of deciding how much you feel like changing for them.
Because here’s the ugly truth and the truth of ugly: you’re not going to have a 100% success rate at attracting the people you want. You just won’t, not over the course of a lifetime.
“Normal” society, yes, rewards skinny people disproportionately. But it also rewards white people disproportionately. And straight people disproportionately. And men disproportionately. And if I’m not fucking careful, I can internalize those irrational hatreds and come to believe that there’s something wrong with me instead of society.
I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. That’s fine. I’m somebody’s cup of tea, and they’re mine, and that’s the important thing.
Last weekend I saw a fat woman with short gray hair wearing a t-shirt that said “I’m someone’s fetish”.
Now, “fetish” is a loaded term. It’s applied to characteristics or actions that society doesn’t think should be arousing. I’ve known people who identify as fetishists and those who reject the term. In this case, it seemed the woman with the tshirt was acknowledging that she was older and fat…and affirming that she’s a sexual person anyway. That’s pretty cool.