I did a general post on sex a few years ago. A few things I’d add now:
- At age 44 I have had more partners than the “average American woman”. At age 28 I’d had zero. At 30 it was one or zero, depending on whether you considered “having orgasms with someone without genital-genital or oral-genital contact” to be “sex”.
- With lots of lube and a relaxed and exploratory attitude, anal sex can be quite enjoyable. (See also The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women)
- I enjoy various types of BDSM.
All of which is to illustrate: It is okay to be different. It is okay to do what you feel is best for you.
One friend describes why she didn’t have sex in high school as: “Small town, kids I’ve known for over a decade who were mostly less mature than I. I didn’t see anyone I wanted to have sex with.”
Yeah, me too. Granted I may have had more self-[body]-hate and fantasy of being thin going on, but I also didn’t have anyone I felt comfortable with.
I don’t think every relationship has to be The Love Of Your Life. I have had “friends with benefits” that worked out rather well. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to be with someone you don’t like or respect.
I will also note: It can be certainly enjoyable to have sex with yourself. Betty Dodson’s Sex for One or The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex may help with getting in the mood. As mentioned on The Rotund, http://www.babeland.com/and http://www.goodvibes.com have plenty of nifty toys that may help as well.