Recently I told a few more real-life friends about this blog, which caused me to do more thinking about why it’s anonymous.
And really? What it comes down to is this: I don’t want a potential employer’s first hits on my name to be:
- My family health history
- How my size affects sex
- Jock itch
- Stress incontinence
- And, yes, that I weigh 400lbs
…and so on. Cowardly, maybe, but true.
- Many people do lie about their weight, which tends to muddy the waters and skew people’s estimates.
- When I do divulge my weight, I’m usually told I that I “carry it well”, which I think translates to having posture, cleavage, and wearing clothes that fit.
- The other reaction is that I’m not letting it stop me from doing things – I go dancing, I have a sex life – so am I sure I weigh 400? It’s like “400lbs” is one of those mythical, must-be-stuck-in-bed-or-playing-pro-football-or-sumo-wrestling sizes that normal people aren’t, right? People my size appear on TV, not in the next cubicle.
I also thought anonymity would put an emotional distance between me & any hateful comments. (So far I’ve only had one. Yay.)
The funny thing is that, when I came out at work about being bisexual, I rationalized that it wouldn’t matter because I already “different” from my coworkers. I’m a very fat woman in a male-dominated profession. That’s obvious, right? And yet, it is not completely obvious just HOW fat I am. And I find I don’t want to be publicly “out” about my weight.