Forty-seven years old.
Working in software (not rocket science, but involves brains) over 20 years.
Employed and promoted by a company that prides itself on “hiring and promoting the best.”
Have been taking various meds for allergies for over 30 years.
….so why did I forget the Flonase again???
(I’m sure it has nothing to do with flonase being a nose spray, which I inhale better after my shower, vs the other morning meds which I have trained myself to take right after getting up. Nope. :P )
Image from the Rudd Center Image Gallery
Had a follow-up appointment with the allergist last week.
It was nice to confirm that the new meds and cleaning regimen not only feels good for me, I did better on the lung capacity test this time than on my first visit.
It was nice to confirm that needing to use albuterol prior to aerobic exercise is expected (exercise is an asthma trigger, especially if combined with cold air). Albuterol is also my “rescue” med, which I use when my asthma symptoms worsen. I haven’t been needing to use it as a rescue med for weeks, which is great.
I also agreed to start immunotherapy shots for my allergic triggers (dust mites, grass, pet dander). It’ll take a few years, but hopefully it will reduce my allergic triggers in the long term.
….and we also dust more often in other rooms, but the bedroom gets the most attention since I am physically there more than anywhere else.
But of course, “choosing” to be fat shows I hate the idea of improving my quality of life & I want to be sick.
The quest to cut down dust mites in our bedroom was a success. I woke up Monday morning without a headache and without needing to blow my nose. I hadn’t noticed these symptoms much until they were gone, but they were. Even better, I seemed better able to handle other asthma triggers the rest of the day. It was even better than the additional meds (Flonase and Spiriva) had been alone.
Today I again washed the bedclothes in hot water. I didn’t wash the comforter, but it did get a spin in the max-heat dryer, which kills dust mites as well. Yesterday I did more thorough cleaning in the living room than I had in months.
Amazing how breathing better makes all the difference.
In October I noticed I was having more anxiety about the whole “going to the doctor” thing. I ended up calling the asthma specialist I’d been referred to at least six months previously and going in on Monday.
This was stressful in many ways. I’m freak-folks-the-hell-out fat. I’ve got the whole mental “You mean it’s asthma, not just that I’m fat and out of shape?” thing going. There’s getting through my first Thanksgiving without my father. There’s that fall is the most stressful time of year at work.
But I went. Some of it was new to me, such as being handed a tissue with a length of plastic wrap on top and being asked to blow my nose. (Ruled out infections.) Also a lung function test, where I breathed out, in, and out through a measuring device. As weight can factor into dosing of asthma meds, I did get on the nifty digital scale .. which displayed the ever-useful “ERR”. Oy. I did tell the nurse my weight, and she made no comment. Blood pressure was fine, both in terms of my specific measurement, and that the room I was in had the proper-sized cuff and the tech taking my blood pressure used the large cuff without me needing to request it. I met with the doc to discuss my history and current symptoms. We agreed to doing some skin tests to confirm and/or rule out current allergies. My biggest responses were to dust mites, grasses, and dog dander. Hence Operation de-Dust Mite, which included encasing our king-sized mattress in a “protector
Side note: wrestling a king-sized mattress into a giant zippered pillowcase? Hilarious. Ended up putting the mattress on its side, propped against the headboard, to get the thing on.
What struck me the most, though, was that the doctor did not blame anything on my weight. No question that exercise is an asthma trigger for me. Not “Are you sure you’re just not used to exercise?” Doc accepted that it’s a trigger, saying something like, “Smoke, exercise, going out in the cold, those are very common.” I half expected to hear “Exercise will help improve your lung capacity” but there was no mention of exercise or weight loss. Treatment plan added a few new meds to better control my asthma and reducing overall exposure to allergens, especially in our bedroom.
I’m glad it was a good experience. I am less thrilled that it was a surprise and not business as usual for me.
Bonus: The new blog banner is a chocolate doughnut with chocolate frosting and Sounders green and blue sprinkles. These are sold by http://www.toppotdoughnuts.com/ at Seattle Sounders games.
I would like to realize I’m wheezing before someone stops me at work and asks, with a look of deep concern, “Are you alright?”
Really.
It’s bad enough to have someone ask me, with a look of deep concern, “Are you alright?” while I’m setting up mics and speakers for a concert. Or walking around a con. Or walking at a park.
It’s worse at work.
Maybe I’ve just spent too many years assuming I’m fat and out of shape and thus symptoms short of “chest pain” feel normal to me. Maybe I need to get a peak flow meter or start a symptoms diary.
But as much as I am really tired of those looks of deep concern, I am also really tired of walking around and suddenly not being able to breathe.
Knowing intellectually that people can die of asthma is a bit scary. Reading that a friend of a friend died of an asthma attack is another.
Death from asthma is a relatively uncommon event, and most asthma deaths are preventable. It is very rare for a person who is receiving proper treatment to die of asthma.
However, even when it is not life threatening, asthma can be debilitating and frightening. Asthma that is not properly controlled can interfere with school and work, as well as daily activities.
— From “Asthma in Adults” at the University of Maryland Medical Center
Of course, proper treatment is often dependent on affordable medical care. I carry with me an albuterol inhaler and antihistamines to deal with allergic asthma. Not everyone can afford them.
Also: some don’t believe they have asthma. For decades I didn’t believe I had asthma, despite having allergies, because I was fat — I was supposed to breathe hard, right? Shortness of breath means “obese”, right? Wrong. (Misdiagnosis occurs, too.) But getting properly diagnosed means medical practitioners need to look at the symptoms and not the body weight — and having affordable practitioners and treatments available in the first place.
I live in a country with treatments available, and they’re affordable for me because I have a computer science degree. Other people aren’t so lucky.
1) Riding the bus to my new job means I’m walking daily again, at least on weekdays. Funny how walking even a 1/2 mile or so every day can feel good, even if it’s spread throughout the day.
2) Yes, I have a temp gig. At the moment it’s a better fit than the old place.
3) The commute is a short bus ride and a longer bus ride – if I make connections badly it can take 90 minutes or more. I am getting better at making connections, though, and the long bus route is conducive to reading books or surfing the net (many of the buses have wifi). De-stressing on the way home is a good thing.
4) The trees are blooming, but my meds are keeping my asthma largely under control.
5) From s. e. smith’s thought-provoking post on what our culture means by ”taking care of yourself“:
They don’t care about my health. They don’t care whether I am happy, whether I enjoy my body, whether I like moving and living in my body. They care that they don’t like looking at me and wish that my body would go away, would shrink, would dwindle away so that it will no longer offend their eyes. This is what people mean when they ask me if I’m ‘taking care of myself,’ when they give me a sidelong glance while I eat a doughnut, when they scrutinise me if I start to wheeze on a hike, because of course, I must be wheezing because I am fat and out of shape, not because I have asthma.
6) Hugs, kisses, and dinner from the man of the house. :)
I haven’t been exercising. I spent most of the weekend sitting or laying down. Sometimes I’d be breathing hard from the effort of sitting (compared to laying down). Sunday I was so exhausted I literally laid down and cried.
I’ve got a cold, which does not combine well with asthma. Plus I was helping run a small con, which meant quite a bit of adrenalin and the feeling that I “should” be walking around, checking in with our guests, seeing if other volunteers need help, and generally doing things.
You know the sort of “sick” where you feel fine as long as you don’t actually try to do things? Yeah, that was me, most of the weekend — at least, once I had enough pills / etc that I could breathe regularly and stop coughing.
Yes, I took my preventative meds. I also took time-release guaifenesin, supplemental antihistamines, and used my albuterol inhaler a lot. I helped coordinate volunteers, I ran the tech equipment that the other volunteers don’t know or aren’t as skilled with, I helped keep guests organized. I’m told a lot of folks didn’t realize I was sick.
And yet I feel I was a “bad fatty” because I spent a lot of time sitting. Because I collapsed with my computer Monday instead of helping carry a bunch of equipment. Because I didn’t get some borrowed equipment returned until Tuesday. Because I should be performing feats of strength to prove I have worth, or that I’m capable despite being fat, or something. Because only bad fats sit around all the time.
The idea that I should have to “prove” my body is okay is one I’d like to unlearn. My brain knows that attitude is insane. Unfortunately I’m not there yet, and it bugs me.
Update: I did intend this post to be about “Gee, even though I’m legitimately sick, I keep feeling guilty for not doing enough and wondering if people think badly of me because I’m fat. That’s screwed up.” Sorry if that didn’t come through.
…you feel like you might be getting a cold (congestion, headachy, coughing, tired). Do you drink tea and put your feet up? No, you spend Sunday dusting and vacuuming the bedroom, changing the sheets and mattress cover, running the pillows and comforter through the hottest dryer setting to kill dust mites, washing your CPAP mask and hose, swapping in a clean CPAP filter, and otherwise doing your best to minimize allergens. Oh, and some cleaning in the rest of the house (vacuuming, dusting, etc).
Because if it’s allergies, and not a cold? This may alleviate (or at least help) the problem.
And if it’s a cold, and not allergies? Doing allergen-patrol while you still feel up to it will help keep the cold from being compounded by allergies later.
[a not-always-weekly exercise in gratitude]
The man of the house baked a chicken with some rosemary this evening. He accompanied it with broccoli with cheese sauce, green beans steamed with red potatoes, corn cooked with onions, cold sliced beets, and French bread. As we were eating he said, “So did I make the Thankful Thursday this week?”
So. Um. Today I’m thankful for:
This isn’t all that’s going on this week by any means. I just find it helpful to focus on the positive sometimes.
I’m not the only one who makes fun of the “food is medicine” “eat this and you’ll live forever or at least you won’t get cancer (maybe).”
Am I?
I’m not the only one who rolls my eyes at “superfoods” or who likes smoothies because they’re a quick breakfast, not because they’re “brain boosters“, right? Right?
…and yet…I routinely add eat garlic, onions, and peppers for their decongestant effect. Oops.
It’s amazing how my morning can go from “bleah” and “moving sucks” to “this feels right pleasant” and “let’s get stuff done” just by taking my meds.
The asthma meds in particular make carrying laundry up/down the stairs and changing sheets much easier, but the vitamin B12 and D also does a lot for my general energy levels.
(This message is brought to you by Saturday “taking longer to get moving than usual” and “Argh I dislike having to take pills”.)
FDA Alert: Some Advair Discus inhalers stolen from a distribution warehouse in 2009 have shown up in pharmacies. Lot numbers available at the link —- don’t use these particular lots. They may have been tampered with, have lost potency, been handled improperly.
Note this is not a problem with Advair in general, just that certain inhalers may have been tampered with. Just avoid the lots in question. :)
[a not-always-weekly exercise in gratitude]
1) Trees are blooming everywhere and my allergy meds are dealing with it.
2) The Sounders won their home season opener!
3) Continuing to exercise is having the desired affects — I survived a Costco jaunt last weekend and walked to a restaurant that serves wine today during lunch.
4) …and I haven’t injured myself through pushing myself too much.
5) Hugs and kisses from the man of the house. Well, and more — but it’s not that kind of blog ;)
Hi y’all. Feel like it’s been a while since I had a real post. So.
What’s changed:
Started walking again. The hip pain I referenced about 10 days ago? Still here. Still decreasing, thank heavens, but still here. I took nearly two weeks off from walking every day. I have begun doing very short walks again, and have continued to do leg lifts and extra stairs and other strength exercises. Pro: Knees are fine, hip is improving, going for walks again. Con: New Year’s resolution didn’t make it past 1 month. Oh well :)
The music convention 2 weeks ago was notable for lack of knee pain and ease of walking (at least until the bed screwed up my hip). I also realized, partway through Friday’s setup, that I hadn’t needed to use my inhaler Friday or during Thursday’s carry-lots-of-things mission. I took this to mean my current asthma preventive regime* is working well. :)
We have decided to not renew our membership at Fitness World, mainly because we haven’t been using it much. This is probably as much a factor of it’s location as anything else — I have been using the much smaller gym at work, which I think is telling. The man of the house is both going for walks and walking more at his job (he’s in a hillier part of Seattle).
Spring appears to have come to Seattle. The roses in our yard have new growth and the neighbor’s rhododendron is in full bloom. Today the man of the house stooped down to the wildly blooming heather and admonished, “It’s February.” I don’t think it cared. Hence my updating the blog banner.
I’ve been getting new clothing catalogs and … I’m really glad I have plenty of clothing already. How terrible is that? I’m not seeing much that I would want to wear, much less buy. (This IS great for my savings account.) I’m also being a bit crafty — my pants tend to develop wear holes around the pockets first, so I’ve been mending them.
In other crafty news: I’m knitting a dark gray, nearly black, scarf. The pattern isn’t much (knit first 2 stitches; knit 2 together, yarn over, repeat to 2 stitches from the end of the row; knit last 2 stitches) but I’m having fun. An advantage to knitting it myself is that I can make it as long as I’d like, to fit my torso and frame. :)
Valentine’s Day was pretty low-key this year. We went out for a nice seafood dinner (with appetizers and dessert sampler) Thursday, in part because Thursday tends to be a much-less-busy night for going out. (Practicality wins.) But we had a nice relaxed weekend, too.
I’ve started doing my taxes with TurboTax, but I’m a little nervous that I haven’t gotten a 1040 booklet in the mail. Are they not sending them this year?
I routinely feel I’m not getting quite enough sleep during the week. I’m starting to inch my bedtime earlier again.
How’s with you all?
